


I'll bear it, I really will

by cute_nerds



Category: VIXX
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Illness, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 11:13:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14567787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cute_nerds/pseuds/cute_nerds
Summary: He’d drink some water, take a short nap, and then get back to it, Taekwoon decided. After all, it was only a cold. He could handle it without anyone’s help.





	I'll bear it, I really will

**Author's Note:**

> I hope the recipient of this fic enjoys it!

When it starts, Taekwoon thinks he’s just tired.

It’s the beat of Fantasy pushing through his fingers, and he can’t move his arms fast enough (as though they’re moving through syrup), and his head feels a little light, so that he almost stumbles over the floor as he moves to the back of the group. Hakyeon notices (Hakyeon always notices, no matter who it is, something that shouldn’t make Taekwoon feel as annoyed as he does) and holds up one hand to get everyone to stop, turning to consider Taekwoon wish a concerned expression.

“It’s okay,” Taekwoon sighs, and rubs his temples, trying not to meet the gazes of everyone in the room. He’s been under scrutiny for dancing before, and he doesn’t need a reminder. “Can I drink some water before we start again?”

Hakyeon’s eyes are soft. Taekwoon hopes it’s not out of pity. “You make me sound like a tyrant,” he laughs, and waves them all apart. “Take a break. I’ll guard the practice room like a lion.”

Hakyeon leaves the room and Taekwoon drops to the floor without further ceremony, feeling better now that he’s not standing on those two shaky things he usually calls legs. Sanghyuk, unusually calm, hands him a water bottle, and he presses it to his forehead first before opening it and drinking it all down.

The rest of the practice isn’t smooth, but he manages it. He thinks it’s just because he’s tired - maybe he’s just getting old? He brushes off Hakyeon’s concerned glance and reaching hands, and tells them all that he’s going to bed early.

Except, he can’t sleep.

 

 

The rest of them are used to his attitude in the mornings. Sanghyuk calls it the daily thaw, how Taekwoon has to have caffeine and food and the occasional brush of physical affection from the rest of them (especially Hakyeon, but the one time Sanghyuk tried pointing this out Taekwoon threatened to take away game night privileges) before he really gets into gear.

But this morning Taekwoon doesn’t feel like eating. The coffee tastes like lead, and even though Hakyeon runs his fingers through Taekwoon’s hair to flatten his messy brushing, he doesn’t feel better. He feels on edge – like the tiniest thing will make him irritated. He almost snaps at Jaehwan for taking a dig at his grumpy expression, but holds back at the last second. He may be petty on a good day, but he won’t take it out on anyone when he knows he’s already feeling bad.

He slouches into the kitchen and dumps the rest of his coffee, making Hakyeon frown thoughtfully. “No good today?” he asks, cheerful and steady and kind as ever, and Taekwoon shakes his head at him kind of helplessly. No, the coffee isn’t good, or no, he’s no good? Both are true, and it seems as though Hakyeon might get an inkling of this, because he narrows his eyes and steps closer to Taekwoon, checking him over.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, and Taekwoon nods. It’s just a cold, he thinks, and he doesn’t need to bother anyone with it. He’s approaching 30 – surely he has enough of his wits about him to handle something that small.

Still, when Hakyeon presses a wrist to Taekwoon’s forehead to check his temperature, then runs an encouraging hand over his hair once more, Taekwoon closes his eyes and leans into it. Even men of his age need a little comfort every now and then.

 

 

The nausea really hits when they’re recording for a track, right when Taekwoon has to hit his high notes. He tries, he really does, but every deep breath in is torture, and he can’t muster the energy to belt it out.

Thankfully, he’s alone in the studio but for the staff, so none of the other members are there to bother him. Instead, he apologizes over and over and over again, face flushing red with embarrassment and distress as he messes up every single time. Eventually, he asks timidly if he can take a break and find Hakyeon, and the staff kindly agrees to let him go. They can record Hongbin’s parts, they tell him, and he should come back when he’s done some vocal warm-ups.

Searching for comfort, Taekwoon tries to track down Hakyeon in the maze of the company building. He’s not with Wonshik and Jaehwan, who are watching some show on Wonshik’s phone as they wait for their turns in the studio, and Sanghyuk has snagged an empty practice room to work on the choreography by himself. He’s thinking about texting Hakyeon when he hears him first, talking to one of their many managers or directors about the upcoming comeback.

Hakyeon’s gotten a lot better at handling management since they debuted, but Taekwoon still remembers how frustrated he’d been with himself after being told off by staff who thought they weren’t working hard enough. With Hakyeon’s trademark stubbornness and their own maturation as idols, they’d gathered more respect from the staff, but Taekwoon still remembered the hectoring voices and how they’d fallen, mostly, on Hakyeon’s shoulders.

He didn’t want to make it worse for Hakyeon by failing. He’d drink some water, take a short nap, and then get back to it, Taekwoon decided. After all, it was only a cold. He could handle it without anyone’s help.

 

 

His skin is so hot, sticky, that Taekwoon just wants to take it off – he wonders if that’ll help him, and steps into the coldest shower he can manage instead. At least Wonshik can’t complain about him using all the hot water now, Taekwoon thinks, and lets the shower drum ice water on his skull, hoping that the rhythm will somehow clear away the fog that seems to be creeping into his brain.

He’d managed the recording, somehow, and the staff had been endlessly kind, though Taekwoon was still worried that one of them would tell Hakyeon – or worse, their manager. Still, nobody seemed to know. Not even Jaehwan, usually so acute, seemed to have picked up on it, so Taekwoon must not have looked as bad as he felt.

And he feels terrible. He turns off the shower at the sound of the timer (a necessity that Hakyeon had implemented to make sure they all used the same amount of water), dries off and pulls on comfortable house clothes like a badly put together marionette. Hoping to avoid further scrutiny, he slouches out of the bathroom and makes a beeline to his room. Just a few steps further and he’d be in the clear –

“Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon calls, and Taekwoon freezes, shoulders coming up defensively. “Are you going to eat anything?”

“I already ate,” he lies, and Hakyeon makes a soft noise of mock offense. “You’re just saying that to avoid my cooking,” he suggests, and comes down the hall to Taekwoon, turning him around so Hakyeon can see his face. “Can I check your temperature again?”

He knows saying no will make Hakyeon suspicious (plus, he couldn’t say no even if he tried), so he just nods and closes his eyes, and Hakyeon reaches up and presses the inside of his wrist to Taekwoon’s forehead again. He’s feeling a little cooled by the shower, so hopefully Hakyeon won’t notice the difference.

“You feel okay,” Hakyeon sounds thoughtful, and Taekwoon opens his eyes to look down at Hakyeon in the dim light of the hall: earnest, sweet, no-nonsense as he is. He looks a little tired without the makeup usually under his eyes, and Taekwoon just wants him to relax.

“I am okay,” he lies, “Just tired.” Hakyeon smiles softly and touches Taekwoon’s shoulder in reply, ushering him off to bed. Taekwoon half-wishes Hakyeon would tuck him in. Instead, he skulks into his room and curls up in a ball, feeling miserable and achy and sore.

 

 

Unfortunately, Taekwoon isn’t that good of an actor, particularly not when appendicitis is involved.

They’re working on the choreography for the new comeback, Hakyeon in the lead. He’s everywhere, correcting posture, encouraging the others, making sure that they all drink water and be careful with their footwork. Taekwoon thinks, at one point, that there are several Hakyeons, and he wonders somewhat blearily if more of them would mean that many more hugs. Obviously, of course it would – it is, after all, _Hakyeon_ – but he doesn’t get to think more on this, because that’s when the pain starts.

It seems to radiate from his lower abdomen, and he presses the heel of his hand into the spot surreptitiously, as if willing it to go away. It doesn’t, of course. It just continues to throb, until the only thing he can focus on is that one spot and putting one foot in front of the other.

He doesn’t realize he’s crouched down, head pressed to his knees, until he feels Hakyeon’s hands on his shoulders and tunes in to his worried instructions.

“Jaehwan, call PD. Sanghyuk, go to security and get us an ambulance. Hongbin, can you fan him with something? He’s so hot – I’m worried –“

Taekwoon finds himself being guided to lie down, his head pillowed on Hakyeon’s lap while their leader runs soothing hands over his hair. It’s nice, and he wishes that he could appreciate it, because his belly feels like it’s being stabbed over and over again (he assumes. Thankfully, he’s never had to experience that sensation).

“Woonie, it’ll be okay,” he hears, and he thinks he feels rain on the top of one ear. Were they outside? He reaches up and grabs Hakyeon’s hand for support, just in case they’re moving.

“I know it will,” he mumbles, as the room fills with the bustle of medical staff. “You’ll take care of me.” This inspires more rain, and Taekwoon pats blindly at Hakyeon’s leg and whispers, “Sorry to be a bother,” before he passes out.

 

 

When he wakes up, he’s in an unfamiliar hospital room, tucked neatly into bed. His abdomen still aches, a little, but it’s not nearly as bad as before. He’ll take it – especially as he’s no longer super warm or nauseous, and because he’s woken up to find Hakyeon asleep in a chair next to the bed, holding Taekwoon’s hand in both of his.

While Hakyeon sleeping is a lovely sight and Taekwoon hates to wake him, he also thinks that sleeping in a hospital chair can’t be good for him. So, he squeezes Hakyeon’s hands a couple times, gently, and waits patiently as he starts to stir.

“Hey,” is Hakyeon’s first word, as he blinks sleep out of his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Taekwoon says, feeling not a little sheepish. “Thank you. How long have you been there?”

Hakyeon lifts one hand to flap it dismissively at him, though he keeps his other tucked firmly in Taekwoon’s. “You had your appendix out,” he tells him, and Taekwoon lifts both eyebrows. Not a cold after all. He definitely feels a little bit embarrassed, and Hakyeon can tell. “That’s right,” he says. “You had appendicitis. And for the life of me I can’t tell why you didn’t say anything!”

Taekwoon ducks his head, because Hakyeon looks a little teary, and Hakyeon crying is contagious. Thankfully, none of the other members are in the room, because they’d probably all bawl together. “I didn’t want to burden you,” he mumbles, and feels Hakyeon smack him on the shoulder (lightly – he did, after all, have an operation).

“That’s what I’m _here_ for, you dummy,” he scolds, and swipes at his eyes surreptitiously. “I’m your leader and your friend, so maybe next time one of your internal organs is inflamed, you should _let me know._ Okay?”

“Okay,” Taekwoon mumbles, though he feels relieved. Hakyeon’s grip tightens. “Good,” he says. “You had me really worried there.”

“Me too,” says Taekwoon, and Hakyeon gives him a watery laugh. Taekwoon peers around the room and finds it empty (must be a private space – the perks of being sick as an idol, he guesses) of both staff and the other members to tease. He pats the bed next to him. “Can I.. uh.”

Hakyeon purses his lips, looking amused, but thankfully he understands Taekwoon’s mumbling. He gets up to sit on the bed next to him and wraps Taekwoon (carefully) in his arms.

“Thanks,” Taekwoon whispers. He’d like to say more - thanks for this, thanks for everything, thanks for being there – but Hakyeon understands. He always does.

“I’m here for you always,” says Hakyeon, and Taekwoon thinks that may have made it all worthwhile.


End file.
